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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28354983">One Tangerine Short of A Fruit Basket</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/KillerStrawberry/pseuds/KillerStrawberry'>KillerStrawberry</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Haikyuu!!</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Betrayal, Comfort, Fluff and Angst, Happy Ending, Light Angst, M/M, Miscommunication, Self Confidence Issues, Self-Doubt</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 21:27:34</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,103</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28354983</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/KillerStrawberry/pseuds/KillerStrawberry</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>based on a prompt "so that's what you really think of me" it has a happy ending, I promise!!!!</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>47</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>One Tangerine Short of A Fruit Basket</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>In the hotel room, Lev, Kenma, Yaku and Hinata sat cross-legged on the eggshell-colored cushions.<br/>
Kenma threw his head back growling and tossed his game at Lev’s head. Lev squeaked and cowered to cover his face with his hands. The game instead hit him square in the chest. He let out a sharp “oof” and toppled over comedically ending up sprawled on the floor; gaming console on his torso, and limbs in a position that could only be described as unnatural.<br/>
The room erupted into instant chaos, Kenma glared at Lev, snatched his game off, and settled back onto his cushion with a slightly amused expression dancing on his lips. Yaku and Hinata fell into each other, clutching their stomachs, howling with laughter.<br/>
Through snickers and sharp breaths, Hinata managed to wheeze out “do you – would you like some help there Lev?”<br/>
Lev was in between shock and hilarity; he had an empty dazed expression lingering in his eyes, but a smirk played on his lips.<br/>
“I’m ok Mr. 164cm”, his gaze shifted to Kenma whilst struggling to sit himself back up. “Kenma, that was a sad, sad toss on your end, aren’t you supposed to be our main setter? You couldn’t even manage to hit your target” his tone was teasing, but his words edged on offensiveness, as if there was a double meaning under the teasing smirk he wore.<br/>
Kenma gave a curious side eyed glance at Lev, but didn’t comment on his offensive tone, but rather instead wielded his game like a weapon and glared at Lev with a look usually reserved for Kuroo when he takes Kenma’s game so he will eat.<br/>
“Watch it, or I’ll put this through your head, Lev” Lev gulped and shifted to his right, scooching as far away from Kenma as he could without toppling over again. Kenma harrumphed and resumed clicking various buttons on his game aggressively.<br/>
“Shouyou, would you like to watch me play? I unlocked a new level. Come look”. Though his tone didn’t convey he excitement he felt, Hinata could see it in his eyes that this was really important to him.<br/>
“Hell yeah!” he exclaimed, “but first, I need to go to the vending machine, I really need a drink - do you want anything?” Hinata almost bounced up and down thinking about the Monster Energy drink that he wanted to try, the same one that Kenma recommended to him.<br/>
“Can you get me the blue Monster, Shouyou”?<br/>
“Hell yeah! That’s the one I was gonna get”! Hinata looked up to face the rest of the group, “would you guys like anything from the vending machine while I’m down there”?<br/>
Yaku and Lev both shook their heads, “no thank you Hinata, but thanks for the offer, I’m good with my water here”<br/>
With that, Hinata turned on his heel and skipped out of the room and headed for the stairs all the while humming about the task at hand.<br/>
After Hinata left, the room grew oddly quiet. Without Hinata there, conversation was often slower and less exciting.<br/>
After a second or two of comfortable silence, Lev broke it, and spoke up. Though the atmosphere was comfortable to Kenma and Yaku, the quietness felt awkward for first year Lev who was a little bit more than awkward when trying to fit in.<br/>
“After today’s match, I heard shrimpy and the black haired one having an argument outside of the school. Their captain coach, and second in command got involved”. Lev waited for the attention of the other members to be obtained. Once he felt that they were paying attention, Lev continued.<br/>
“Shrimpy wants to be the best y’know. I don’t know why 164cm thinks he can be better than his team’s ace, or me for that matter. He seems to be the weakest link on the team, and now that he realizes that, he thinks what little knowledge he has and simply ‘opening his eyes’ will help him get to the top? I think not. 164cm will never be enough. I don’t know why he thinks he can be a middle blocker as a first year with that height. Shouldn’t he grow at least?”<br/>
“Lev. That’s enough”, Yaku reprimanded “you shouldn’t be talking about your friends in that manner”<br/>
Kenma ignored the situation, not thinking it applied to him, and quite frankly did not care what Lev had to say off the court most of the time, and felt similarly about this situation, so absorbed in his game he didn’t even hear a word Lev was saying, tuning him out with the sounds of rocket blasters from his game.<br/>
Lev continued anyway, not understanding the weight of his words, “I would probably overlook his height difference if the rest of his team believed in him. He’s a great friend and all off the volleyball court, but how can I take someone like that seriously, he doesn’t even stand a chance considering the rest of his team knows how under-skilled he is, it’s probably a good thing that he is being told now than later. When I tell someone, I’m going to be the first to stop them, as the next ace up in position for Nekoma, I expect a challenge, not just childish determination with no skill to follow you know that phrase? the one that calls you crazy, uh,,, one sandwich less than a picnic, or like one screw loose? Shrimpy is up there, he's one tangerine short of a fruit basket—”<br/>
The sound of metal clanking echoed throughout the room, followed by a soft sizzling. Time appeared to stop for a moment, and even Kenma looked up from his game.<br/>
On the floor, an open blue Monster spilled and leaked into the floor and cushions staining the white with sticky blue.<br/>
The cause of the sound?<br/>
Hinata, standing still, not moving a muscle, not even breathing. One second before all hell broke loose.<br/>
A sharp inhale, "So that's really what you think of me?" Hinata’s voice did not shake, but held a betrayed tone which bled into his face, the furrowed brows, glistening eyes, downturned mouth. It was a cross between heartbreak and rage.<br/>
“Really, Kozume, that’s what you think of me too? What happened to the ‘best friends’ and the hours we spent playing games together and sharing secrets huh?”<br/>
He scoffed and threw the blue drink at his feet and watched it roll past him into the center of the broken circle of people.<br/>
“You know, I really liked you guys, I really thought I made friends. Do you have any idea how hard it is for me to fucking make friends? Everyone always thinks the same fucking thing about me, I may be ‘popular’ in school, but that’s because I’m nice and cute, not because they think I’m a good volleyball rival, not because they believe in me. I really thought that I had worthy opponents and people who respected me. I can’t fucking believe this”. He was yelling at this point, eyes appearing scarier than anyone has ever seen. If looks could kill, Lev would be in a casket six feet under.<br/>
He stopped for a moment panting. Everyone was stunned, Kenma was confused, but was able to grasp that Lev wasn’t talking about pointless bullshit, he was actually insulting Hinata the whole time.<br/>
Lev looked down at his feet and back up at the heavily panting form of Hinata. Before anyone could say anything, Hinata’s expression changed from one of hurt to one of sadism.<br/>
“You really think I’m that weak of an opponent, all four of you get your asses up and let’s play a game outside. Me against all of you. Right now. We’ll see who the weak one is” Hinata shoved his chin up defiantly<br/>
Kenma opened his mouth to speak, but Lev was faster, and cut off the much quieter male “A volleyball game needs more than one person. You can’t play a game alone and expect to score even one point, especially not in the condition you’re at”.<br/>
Though Lev was right, the execution just worsened Hinata’s condition. Hinata took a deep breath, and before speaking, Kenma finally, got his chance to say something<br/>
“Shoyo, I wasn’t listening to Lev talk. I thought it was unimportant bullshit and tuned him out. I didn’t know that he was talking about you, I’m sorry that it seemed like I was taking part in the conversation”<br/>
Hinata changed course, “I see, I apologize if that is the truth then”, leaned stepped around the mess of his drink, picked up his bag, and simply walked out, ignoring Kenma’s resistant cries and Lev’s stumbled apologies.<br/>
Hinata didn’t stop walking until he felt the cool air on his exposed skin, and could see his breath in the air. Though the chill was unsettling, it wasn’t unwelcome; offering Hinata the distraction from the pain eating at his heart.<br/>
It felt like ants under his skin. It felt like a bunch of coordinated crawling and nipping insects taking advantage of the thinning skin of his confidence and resolve.<br/>
“I can do this. They’re wrong, I can do this, I will do this, I’ll be the ace, the best spiker, I can do this. I know I can, no matter who believes in me”. Though his voice didn’t shake when he spoke, his eyes still glossed over, and his fingers curled into fists, which did shake from a mixture of the air and the resolve crumbling from the imagined insects under his skin.<br/>
Hinata turned around; and with a determined harrumph, tilted his chin up and let tears leak from his eyes and stream down his cheeks. The brisk air around him dried them quickly, but the tear tracks on his face were anything but subtle.<br/>
With one final glance at the moon, he made headway towards the gym. He didn’t know how he was going to practice, but he was going to find a way, without feeling like he was burdening the rest of his team.<br/>
Hinata wanted his team to be proud of him, he wanted them to be pleased with his improvement and recognize him as an equal to Kageyama and the other members of the Kurasuno team. Lev said exactly what Hinata had been feeling but was always too stubborn to ever admit to anyone. He figured if he dealt with it alone, it would all work out because that’s how it has always been. Hinata has always been the one to need to solve things on his own. He resents it, but at the same time embraces it because he knows he doesn’t have another choice. Hinata wishes he could be as brave as those who are willing and open to sharing their feelings and admitting weaknesses. All around him are so many more accomplished people who always seem to do better than him.<br/>
He’s felt this way for a while. That his team doesn’t believe in him, that the team always pairs him with Kageyama Tobio because they know Hinata is useless without Kageyama. Though Hinata has gotten used to this, he does not accept it. He knows he can be better than what he is. He knows he doesn’t need Kageyama to reach the top. Hinata believes in himself, and that’s all he needs because he’s made it this far, why does it matter if the list of people who don’t believe in his own abilities grow shorter and shorter as the days pass.<br/>
Hinata decided to work on his receives, and figured a way to spike his own receives in an attempt to prove that he doesn’t need Kageyama’s help to be a good spiker. It doesn’t matter that he closes his eyes sometimes, or that everyone tells him to stop putting his all into his spikes because Kageyama will just find a way to score the point anyway, and all Hinata needed to do was listen to Kageyama, and jump when he was told.<br/>
Hinata thinks that if he were taller, he wouldn’t be considered the team’s “decoy”. If he was faster, had better skill, maybe people would take him more seriously and his teammates would also believe in him.<br/>
Maybe then he won’t feel like the weakest link on the team. Maybe then he would feel like he could accomplish something outside of his own shadow. Hinata thinks to himself that this is how Oikawa must have felt when Kageyama took over his position too. Hinata goes to spike the receive he set in the air, but was too blinded by thoughts of Oikawa Toru to really focus on the ball.<br/>
The ball bounced away from him and a strangled sob came from Hinata’s mouth as he let himself fall to the floor as graceful as a newborn gazelle. He crawled his way to the fallen volleyball, and hugged it with a sob. He held it close to his chest as he felt the insects crawling under his skin again, eating a whole into the center of his chest. </p><p>	On the bus back to Kurasuno, after everyone settled into their seats, Kageyama nudged a very sorry looking Hinata who had definitely seen better days.<br/>
“where were you last night, Kenma-san was looking for you, along with Yaku-san and Lev”<br/>
The second the word “Lev” crashed into Hinata’s ears, he immediately lost interest in the conversation, and wanted nothing to do with it. So, he decided to play dumb.<br/>
“I don’t know what you’re talking about. I told Kenma I was gonna go watch the stars and I left the room. He should have known where I was”, Hinata bristled as he spoke, averting his gaze to the sky outside the window.<br/>
Kageyama glared at the back of Hinata’s head and rolled his eyes. “Yeah right”, he muttered under his breath. “If that was the case, why did you leave your energy drink in their room? And why did Lev tell me to apologize to you for something he won’t even tell me?”<br/>
Hinata watched Kageyama carefully through the glared reflection on the bus window, “Lev must have drunk my drink and was too embarrassed to say anything”<br/>
Kageyama rolled his eyes and went back to staring in the other direction. He knew Hinata was bullshitting him, but he didn’t know what to say, and didn’t feel like causing a fight on the bus. The last time that happened, it didn’t quite end well.<br/>
Kageyama was having trouble sleeping, so he kept glancing at Hinata, trying to figure out what the hell his problem is. Hinata was restless, constantly fidgeting, tugging on his shirt collar, shiftily looking around; but paradoxically, had huge black rings under his eyes which were made more prominent by how sallow his skin looked after one rough night. </p><p> </p><p>	When they arrived back at the school, Hinata grabbed Kageyama’s shirt, and pulled him to the side.<br/>
“Kageyama, practice with me for a bit, please”. Kageyama took this as an opportunity to figure out what is wrong with his spiker, so he wordlessly agreed and followed Hinata into the gym.<br/>
They did some tosses, Hinata attempting to spike, but missing most of them. Even Kageyama could see how tense Hinata was getting from each ball he missed. It was like his shoulders tightened more when he heard the soft sound of the ball slowly bouncing on the gym floor.<br/>
Hinata jumped for a spike, but ended up tripping and crashing forward and colliding with the floor so hard that Kageyama could have swore he felt the ground vibrate.<br/>
He was so used to Hinata getting right back up mess up after mess up, that it almost didn’t register that Hinata had shrunk into himself rather than beg Kageyama for “one more”<br/>
Kageyama made his way over to his curled form and started nudging him with the tip of his shoe. “Hinata, let go, either do more sets, or let’s go home. I’ll leave you here if you can’t get your act together”<br/>
Something in Hinata snapped when he heard the tone Kageyama used against him. It wasn’t that he was unfamiliar with Kageyama’s cruel way of speaking, he just was in so much pain that he needed to let out before he collapsed into nothing but dust.<br/>
He turned to Kageyama who was now crouching over him, and pulled him to the floor. Before Kageyama could even open his mouth to scold his friend, Hinata opened his mouth while being buried in Kageyama’s shirt. A pained scream erupted from his chest, and rumbled his rib cage.<br/>
Not knowing want to say, Kageyama does not speak, but opts to hug the boy back.<br/>
The first sentence Hinata utters before the damn of insecurities cracks and spills makes Kageyama freeze up, "Kageyama, am I crazy? Am I one tangerine short of a fruit basket? Is it impossible to be an ace or play good?" 
"Hinata, boke Hinata, talk to me, what made you think this way, what happened to the team's best decoy? What happened to your resilience?"
     That was all Hinata needed to hear for his stone dam of insecurities to bust and spill. He lets it all spill right then and there, what Lev said, his insecurities, how he can relate to Oikawa, and how he knows he is the weakest link on the team.<br/>
Kageyama; not fully sure of how to physically comfort someone, instead rubbed soothing circles onto his back.<br/>
“Hinata, without you, the team might actually fall apart. You bring the sun into volleyball. You are always so ready to bounce back, so resilient that I got used to it, that I noticed how everyone reacted when you were around. Hinata, your spikes are amazing, Hinata, I believe in you. I truly do believe in you.” Kageyama kept like this for a little while; rubbing soothing circles while gently whispering sweet words of encouragement. “so that’s what you think of me” Hinata mumbled happily. “Did you really meant what you said Kageyama?”<br/>
Kageyama nodded. "You are the sun in my life, and I will gladly be your moon." Staying like this, the both of them spilled their guts about feelings where mostly Hinata absolutely told him every single one of his insecurities, and turned bright red, feeling like a fool.<br/>
In that moment, Kageyama had the strongest urge to kiss Hinata and tell him everything will be ok. So, he did.<br/>
Hinata kissed him back, and they fell into a comfortable position on the gym floor feeling completely whole and needed, not just by ones will to succeed but by another’s will to believe.</p>
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